Become the list, my personal advice for dating
Dear Reader,
Dating today looks very different than it did just a generation ago, even than 15 years ago when I dated and married my ex-husband. . While putting yourself out in the dating scene can feel exciting, it can also be confusing. How do you face ghosting without losing hope? How do you handle avoidance when someone pulls away? How do you keep your heart open in a dating world that can feel full of toxic behaviors and a lack of willingness to build meaningful connections?
These are the realities many people encounter and yet, it’s still possible to find clarity, confidence, and authentic love. Over the years, I’ve discovered that approaching dating from different angles can help you rise above the noise and create the kind of relationships you deserve. Here are three powerful ways I look at modern relationships:
The Mindful Approach
Being truly present in your interactions is one of the most powerful ways to connect. Mindfulness in dating means listening deeply, engaging fully, and setting clear intentions about what you want. When you date with awareness and purpose, you reduce misunderstandings and create space for authentic connection.
The Playful Approach
Desire and intimacy thrive when there’s curiosity and lightness. Too often, we think of relationships as a serious destination, but playfulness keeps love alive. Balancing closeness with independence allows attraction to grow, while a spirit of exploration helps couples navigate challenges with more ease and joy.
The Confident Approach
Confidence comes from knowing your worth and being proactive in pursuing the kind of relationship you want. This isn’t about being perfect, it's about being self-aware and grounded in your values. When you treat dating as an adventure rather than a high-stakes test, you release pressure and open yourself to deeper, more genuine connections.
Become the List
The best advice I received when I started dating is this: make a list of the qualities you’re looking for in a partner and then become that person. This also means looking inside of yourself and understanding what needs to heal or adapt in order for you to become a healthy and emotionally available partner.
The truth is, when you approach dating from a secure, healthy, and authentic place, you naturally draw relationships that reflect those same qualities back to you. Building love starts with becoming the kind of person you’d want to love.
Most importantly, remember that love is not only about the destination it’s about how you walk the path. Each step teaches you something new about yourself, your desires, and the kind of relationship you’re meant to build.
As a coach, my role is to support you in discovering which approach resonates most with you, and how to blend them in a way that feels authentic. Together, we can turn dating into an empowering journey, one that helps you create connections that are not only meaningful but lasting.
With encouragement and support,
Andrea
